Secret of My Heart
by LiLDraGoNGuRL28
Summary: First Songfic....Syaoran tells Sakura the secret of his heart...sappy, mushy S+S!! Syaoran\'s POV! R&R onegai??


wello there...i was listening to this song...and i had to just write this short story. it just gave me this feeling. it is in japanese...and i don't understand japanese to well ...soo i looked up the translations and it just matched sooo perfectly. This would be my first song fic...so don't um flame..as much...go easy on me. hehe well here it is...i hope you like it!   
  
DiScLaiMer:...doesn't that explain everything...plus i'm broke...don't sue..i don't own anything!   
  
~*~...lyrics...~*~ -   
~:~:~:~:~:~ - scene switch   
=:-Flash backs-:=...-:=End of Flashback=:-(hmm i dunno if i even have flashbacks in here..*shrugs*)   
( A/N:..me)   
"...talking.."   
okie this song is japanese....so what i'm going to do is put the japanese version first...then the translation under it. soo yeah...it'll help.   
{{...translations will be in these... }}   
  
I suggest you download..."Secret of My Heart" by Kuraki Mai...too get you in the mood of the song.   
  
well on to my story!...   
  
  
^^Secrets Of my Heart^^   
~LiLDraGoNGuRL28..aka May   
  
  
  
Sakura and the gang are about 14-15 years old.   
  
  
  
::Syaoran's POV::   
  
  
  
I just sat there...quietly, staring at the back of your head. Each strand of your hair falling over your shoulders. It looked very soft and delicate. I just wanted to reach up and touch a few. To see how they feel. It gave me this feeling in my heart...to just touch it.   
  
  
I quickly snapped out of my trance, when your eyes came upon mine. It just seemed like the perfect moment to just yell out "I love you!" but...we were in school...it'd be too embarrasing for my health.   
  
  
Your breathe taking emerald eyes stared back at me. And you lightly smiled. You give me endless smiles...when our eyes meet. It felt like...the world could just twist around, but I would still be standing there...shocked of the beauty of your smile.   
  
  
I wanted to tell you. I've been wanting to tell for soo long...but I didn't know the way. The way to say it. But I couldn't. It's been so long...since I first realized I had this secret of my heart. And that's what it exactly was. A secret...of my heart.   
  
  
  
~*~   
Don'na kotoba ni kaete   
Kimi ni tsutaerareru darou   
Are kara ikutsu mono kisetsu ga   
Toorisugita keredo   
Itsumo soba de waratteru   
Watashi ni mo ienai koto ga mada hitotsu dake aru   
  
{{How could I put it   
So that I'd be able to tell you?   
Ever since then, countless seasons   
Have just passed us by   
But you're always smiling by my side   
There's still one thing left I can't say}}   
  
~*~   
  
  
  
  
I'm waiting. Waiting for the perfect chance...to come out and tell you. I've looked into the future a little...and I wanted to make it come true. I will make it true. Just not right now...its not time.   
  
  
  
  
~*~   
Secret of my heart utagattemo nai ne   
Itsu datte sukoshi no mirai ga areba   
Shinjitsu wa te ni irerareru hazu   
I can't say mou sukoshi dake I'm waiting for a chance   
  
  
{{Secret of my heart, I don't doubt you at all   
So long as we always have a bit of a future   
I should be able to make it reality   
I can't say, just a little longer, I'm waiting for a chance}}   
  
~*~   
  
  
  
I was just walking down the streets. Walking to the park...thinking of you. I soon enoughed stop. Seeing you not too far in front of me.   
  
  
I stayed silent...didn't even move. Didn't know what do. I thought about...if I should tell you now...but I was frightened. I was scared.   
  
Can you believe...Li Syaoran...scared...more likely a coward. Everything that envolves you....I'm usually scared. During the card captor days...every thing scared me. You getting hurt...stabbed my heart. I was terrified.   
  
But this is not suppose to be like this! I'm not suppose to be acting like this. I stayed here...instead of moving back to Hong Kong...for you. But you have no thought of how I feel.   
  
I want to be with you soo bad. So I wouldn't have to be scared anymore...knowing you're with me. But for now...I'm scared.   
  
You weren't standing so far from me...I just couldn't move. You walk up to me and asked to walk. I agreed...nodding like the idiot I am. And you stood not too far from me. Making my heart beat faster. But then...you are so close...yet so far a way...not knowing the secret of my heart...   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
Kon'na odoyaka na toki   
Motto tsunagatte itai   
Subete wo miseru no ga kowakute   
Sukoshi hanarete aruku   
Kimi no yokogao ga nazeka   
Kowaresou de mamoritai motto chikazukitai yo   
  
{{Such quiet times   
I want to be more connected to you   
I was just afraid of showing you everything   
Walking slightly apart   
For some reason, looking at your from the side you seem   
About to crumble, and I want to protect, and be closer to you}}   
  
~*~   
  
  
  
I looked at you....you were speaking calmly. Putting out smiles as much as you can. It's making my heart melt in to a puddle. We decided to sit down and talk.   
  
All I can do was listen. Watching your every movement. Listening to your every word. It felt perfect. To be with you. Maybe if I told you...you will say the same..but then I thought about it...what if I just get rejection out of it? What if you just turn me down?   
  
But then it didn't matter. It only mattered that you knew how I feel for you. What was going inside of my head. I didn't care if you turned away from me in disgust...as long as you knew. I will be fine.   
  
I look at you intensly. My heart in a race. Give me this chance O Lord. Please let it be now...I can't run away now...I can't. I need for you to know...you need to know this secret of my heart...   
  
  
~*~   
  
Secret of my heart wakatte kureru yo ne   
Dare datte nigetai toki mo aru kedo   
Sore dake ja nani mo hajimaranai   
I can't say kitto kanarazu I'm calling for a chance   
  
{{Secret of my heart, you'll understand, won't you?   
Everyone has times when they want to run away   
But if we do that, nothing gets started   
I can't say, I know I'm calling for a chance}}   
  
~*~   
  
  
  
I open my mouth to say something. She turned to me...since I guessed she saw my intention to speak. I stayed there...with my mouth open. And then...I asked myself...Can I?   
  
This is something I've been holding back for awhile..and I don't know..if I'm ready now...   
  
Then out of no where...this confidence came into me. Knocked me in the back. And I was ready...I couldn't keep it in anymore...   
  
"Sakura..." I say. She looks me in the eye and smiles.   
  
"Yes..Syaoran."   
  
"..I..Ai..Aisheteru.." I blurted out. A sudden gasp ran through her. And my heart stops. I don't know if I did was right. She didn't say anything...so I continued..spilling my secret..   
  
  
~*~   
  
Can I tell the truth? Sono kotoba iezu karamawari suru kuchibiru ni   
Feeling in my heart kakusenai kore ijou 'Cause I love you   
I will be with you Wherever you are Can you feel my heart?   
  
{{Can I tell the truth?   
I just keep going round and round, unable to say that   
Feeling in my heart   
I can't hide it any more, 'cause I love you   
I will be with you, wherever you are, can you feel my heart?}}   
  
  
~*~   
  
  
  
"I love you...Sakura. For soo long." I pulled my head down removing my eyes from hers.   
  
  
"I just...don't know. I've had this feeling...and I tried so hard to get rid of it...but no matter how I tried, it wouldn't go away. So I gave up. And let myself believe...I was in love. You mean so much too me." I tried so hard to not have them come out. They can't come...tears...just leave me alone.   
  
  
"I still remember every single time I spent with you. Because those times were precious. I don't want them to go away too. I know you probably wouldn't feel the same way..." I look up at her...with tears threatening to come out.   
  
  
"But please don't take yourself away from me. Please don't let it change how everything is. I just had to let you know. And I'm not afraid anymore...of letting you know...how much I love you.." I lightly faded away and pulled my head down again.   
  
These tears...just leave me alone...   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
Can't you see, you're my dream ushinaitaku nai yo   
Taisetsu na kimi to sugosu kono jikan   
Akirameru kurai nara shinjite   
I just wanna say mou mayowanai   
  
{{Can't you see, you're my dream, I don't wanna lose   
Those precious times I spent with you   
If you're about to give up, trust me   
I just wanna say, I won't hesitate any longer}}   
  
~*~   
  
  
It was silent after...nothing but the trees rustling from the wind. My first intention was to get up and leave right way. But I knew I was going to wait til I hear her response.   
  
"I want it to change.." she finally said. I pulled my head up in shock. Was she rejecting me..? She saw my face, I guessed and continued.   
  
"I want everything to change, between us. I want you by my side, Syaoran...forever." she looked down for a moment and then looked up again at me.   
  
"Aisheteru Syaoran...I love you so much too." I saw the tears flowing easily down her cheeks. Looks like the tears got to her before they have gotten to me. Even with tears...she was beautiful.   
  
I soon embraced her...this moment meant a lot. Because I knew it was comfirming that...we were going to be together. Our souls mixed. Nothing was going to break it.   
  
And you may think that the wedding day is the day...where you are bind to together...to stay forever. But I think that...the day you confess your love for each other...is the day where you are tied together as one.   
  
When she looked up, I fell in her emerald pool...once more. Too stuck in the moment...I leaned in for a kiss. Gingerly placing my lips on hers. Deepening it soon after.   
  
  
I love you, Sakura....Secret of my heart...   
  
  
  
~*~   
  
Can't you see, you're my heart don'na tsukuri mono mo   
Kantan ni kowarete shimau hi ga kuru   
Dakedo mada itsumademo kawaranai   
Secret of my heart Our future is forever   
  
{{Can't you see, you're my heart, anything artificial   
Will someday be easily destroyed   
But we still won't ever change   
Secret of my heart, our future is forever}}   
  
~*~   
  
End...   
  
*****************************************   
  
that was the end of my first song ficcie! hehe i hoped you like it! It may suck since it is my first...and stuff...but pleaes review and tell me watcha think bout it! I really do hope you like it...cuz..well i do! and too put you to surprise...i wrote this all in one night....er...i don't know...but i did! okay well Review onegai?!?   
  
Arigatou for reading...   
  
~LiLDrAgONGuRL28


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